A Day in the Life of a Nobody
by Radev E. Elocin
Summary: This is what happens when Axel and Roxas get bored in TCTNW. Pls R&R. Suggestions for story are recommended and needed. Rated for later chapters. May change. .:Hiatus:.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: I hath dedicate this to BrOkEnEnGlIsH13, the first person who commented on my first fanfic, The Purpose of a Nobody! She also put all alerts on me, so this is for you!!!! You Rock my Soxs!!!

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or Kingdom Hearts 2. If I did, Roxas would be whole, Axel would never have died, and a part of the game would be annoying Mansex, I mean Xemnas. ;;

**A Day in the Life of a Nobody**

_**This is the stuff that the rest of the Organization has to go through when Axel and Roxas get bored, and have nothing to do. Read forward with caution. You have been warned. **_

Roxas and Axel sat on Roxas's balcony in The World that Never Was, and looked at Kingdom Hearts, the glowing, moon-like presence it is.

"Axel?" Roxas asked.

"Yeah, Rox?" Axel asked.

"I'M BOOOORED…" Roxas complained.

"So what do you want to do?" Axel asked, inching closer to him.

"I dunno…" Roxas said, looking away.

"Well, I have a few ideas…" Axel said playfully, moving closer and closer to Roxas.

"What?" Roxas asked, looking up at his friend, whose face was now dangerously close to his.

"Oh, I think you know what I'm thinking…" a mischievous grin made its way onto Axel's face.

Roxas' eyes brightened up. "Oh, I think I do…"

"Let's…"

"GO PLAY A PRANK ON DEMYX!!!" Roxas finished Axel's sentence joyfully.

The two Nobodies entered a portal to Axel's room to plan.

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Roxas grabbed Axel's laptop and jumped onto his bed, beginning to surf the Internet.

"Whatcha doin'?" Axel asked, peering into the screen.

"Trying to think of the perfect idea" Roxas said, typing.

Axel lay down next to the blonde, with his hands behind his head, as he stared out into space. Their planning was interrupted with a loud bang on the door.

"Who are you, and what do you want?!" Axel yelled at the door.

"Zexion. Vexen wants you two to go into his lab, NOW," the blue-haired nobody said.

Axel and Roxas looked at each other, evil grins across their faces.

"I'll get the door," Roxas whispered.

"And I'll get the rope," Axel whispered back.

They crept around the room until Axel was ready with the rope. Roxas stood by the door and mouthed, "Ready?"

Axel nodded, the rope in his hands. Roxas counted down "3…2…1, go!"

Roxas threw open the door and stepped out of the way as Axel appeared behind Zexion and tackled him into the room. Roxas slammed the door shut and winced, hoping that no one would suspect anything.

Axel was still on top of a struggling Zexion as he said, "Roxas!!! A little help here?!"

Roxas ran to him and held down Zexion's wildly flailing arms as Axel tied them tight. They grabbed his arms and hoisted him up. Roxas found some more rope and helped Axel tie down Zexion to a chair. When they were sure that he was unable to move, they stood back to marvel at their handiwork. Zexion's hair was completely messed up from the struggle, and he was giving them evil stares for tying him to a chair. Axel and Roxas returned his stares with big grins.

"So, Roxas, what shall we do with him now?" Axel asked, facing his partner-in-crime.

"Hmmm…. I really don't know, Axel. The possibilities are endless…" Roxas replied, his evil grin returning.

Roxas and Axel pretended to think, when in truth, the perfect plan to get Demyx was already forming.

Zexion flipped his hair back into place and stated, "Let. Me. Go. Or you two will suffer greatly." His eyes were filled with rage.

"Tell ya what, Zexy," Axel said, putting his arm around his victim. "You do what **_we_** want, and we'll do what **_you_** want. Got it memorized?"

Zexion thought for a moment, then hung his head in regret.

"Fine. What do you want?" he muttered.

"He's so cute when he's helpless, isn't he, Axel?" Roxas said, mocking him playfully.

"Oh yes, Roxy, I agree. And I'm sure… Demyx would agree as well, wouldn't he?" Axel said, winking to Roxas.

Zexion's head was still hung, but his eyes widened under his bangs.

"Oh yes, Axel… I bet he would…" Roxas said mischievously.

"I don't like where this is going…" Zexion said.

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But I do!!!

Yesh, my first chapter is done!!! Sorry that it's so short. If it is short. Whatever. This is going to be good. I hope. I think. I don't know!!! Oo;;

Anyways, R & R!!! Give me some ideas!!! I'm kinda making this up as I go along, so IDEAS ARE WELCOME!!! Tell other people to read this too!!! I NEED SOME HELP!!!

**Thank you. **

**By the way, I luv all the organization members. I don't mean to be mean to be mean to Demyx and Zexion, but this is a good idea. To me. Whatever. Another thing! GAY PAIRINGS!!! DEAL WITH IT!!! **


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: People reviewed!!! Yay!!! So, I just HAVE to update. I will get this one to be longer. Sorry for the short beginning chapter!!! Anyways, Chapter 2!!! Here it is!!! Read on!!!

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, Kingdom Hearts 2, or Organization XIII. Except for the members I like to rent. (For inspiration) XD

Zexion: LET ME OUT OF THIS CLOSET!!!!

Erinicole12: uh… hehe… don't mind that…

Demyx: Zexy-kun, I can't breathe!!!

Erinicole12: that either…. -shifty eyes-

A Day in the Life of a Nobody 

**Chapter II**

"_**Oh yes, Axel… I bet he would…" Roxas said mischievously.**_

"_**I don't like where this is going…" Zexion said.**_

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"Aw, don't worry Zexy, we're not gonna make you do anything _bad…_" Axel said.

"No! _Of course_ not…" Roxas added, stifling a laugh that was bursting to come out.

"Just tell me what Demy- I mean, Demyx has to do with all this." Zexion said coolly.

"Well, you should know," Axel started. "He is your **_boyfriend_** after all!!!"

"What are you talking about?!" Zexion said, his voice growing higher and higher.

Roxas and Axel looked at each other and started cracking up.

"What's…. up…. With…. his ….voice?!" they said while laughing.

Zexion hung his head back down again, his face turning as red as Axel's hair.

_Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck!!!! I gotta get out of here!!! _He screamed in his head.

Axel straightened up, wiping the tears from his eyes.

"Ok, Rox, now down to business. Go find Demyx," Axel ordered.

"Or better yet…" Roxas said, looking at Zexion. "Let's ask his boyfriend where he would be…"

"Oh yeah! Duh!" Axel said.

"So where is our Demy, Zexy?" Axel asked.

"Why should I tell you?" Zexion asked.

"Because if you don't help us, we're just gonna have to change our plans…" Axel said, smirking.

Zexion's eyes widened in shock again as he thought of the millions of ways Axel and Roxas could do even worse things.

"Check his room," Zexion said sadly.

Roxas quickly summoned a portal and was off to Demyx's room.

Axel turned to Zexion.

_Gotta think fast, gotta think fast… where to put him? _Axel thought.

An idea popped into his head. He went to his desk drawers and found the huge roll of duct tape that Larxene had given him for his birthday. _I knew this would come in handy someday. _

Zexion looked up at his crazy captor.

Axel turned around, threateningly unraveling the duct tape.

"No! You put any of that on me, and so help me, Axel, I will kill you when all this is over!" Zexion yelled.

Axel wasn't listening. He took a strip of duct tape and put it over Zexion's mouth. He grabbed Zexion and put him in his closet.

"You be a good boy now, and keep quiet," he said, firmly taping the legs of the chair to the ground and Zexion's legs to the chair.

_**Meanwhile…**_

Roxas appeared in front of Demyx's door. He knocked loudly.

"DEMMMMYYYXXX!!!!" Roxas yelled.

Larxene poked her head out of her door.

"SHUT UP ROXAS!!!" Roxas jumped and turned to the source of the screaming. "I'M SHARPENING MY KNIVES HERE, SO IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE MY TEST DUMMY, YOU WILL KEEP QUIET!!!" Larxene yelled at Roxas, furious. She slammed the door.

Roxas let out a quiet sigh of relief. Larxene always scared him. He didn't want to knock again, afraid that Larxene would come out and kill him. Luckily, Demyx heard everything, and opened the door.

"What's up Rox?" he asked.

"Axel wants to talk to you," Roxas said.

"Why didn't he come and get me himself?" Demyx inquired.

"He has his reasons," Roxas said, hoping Demyx wouldn't say no to coming.

"Ok," Demyx said, shrugging. He closed his door behind him and walked with Roxas to Axel's room.

On the way there, they passed Xemnas's room. Roxas's ears perked up at what he heard.

"_Oh…oh…OH!!!" _he could have sworn that was Saix in Xemnas's room. He stopped walking, grabbing Demyx's arm to get him to stop too.

"_Come on, Saix… don't… UNH! Be a baby," _that was Xemnas. Roxas could tell his deep voice anywhere.

Roxas and Demyx's eyes widened in shock.

"Whoa!" they whispered at each other.

_This will come in handy later… _Roxas thought.

"Hey, what do you think-" Demyx said, but couldn't finish when Roxas grabbed his arm and ran to Axel's room.

"Let's go! You know what Manse- I mean, Xemnas will do if he sees us listening at the door," Roxas said while running.

They reached Axel's door, and knocked.

Axel opened the door.

"Come in, come in," Axel said, smiling.

Demyx and Roxas walked in. Demyx sat down on Axel's bed. Roxas and Axel stood in front of him.

"Demyx, we have some questions to ask you," Axel said very professionally.

"Ok. Shoot." Demyx said, crossing his legs.

"Are you gay?" Roxas started.

"No." Demyx said.

"Do you know about the rumors around the castle that you and Zexion are dating?" Axel asked.

"Yes. They aren't true." Demyx said, shifting a bit.

"Are you lying?" Roxas asked with a raised eyebrow.

"No. When have you guys ever known me to lie?" Demyx retorted.

"He has a good point, Roxas," Axel stated.

"Do you recognize… this!?" Axel said, holding a piece of blue hair in front of Demyx's quivering eyes.

"Um…uh… no…" Demyx stuttered.

Axel and Roxas nodded to each other and both gave him the same you're-totally-lying look.

Demyx broke down.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY ZEXY-KUN!!!!!" he shrieked.

Axel grabbed him and covered his mouth with his hand.

"If you want to see Zexion again, you will do what we say," Axel said threateningly.

Demyx's eyes widened. Roxas smirked.

"Now, keep quiet, and don't move," Axel said, letting him go.

He turned his back to Demyx and whispered to Roxas.

"What should we make him do?" Axel asked.

"Well, on the way here, we passed Xemnas's room. You will not believe what we heard! I figure we could use that to our advantage," Roxas said, an evil grin stuck on his face as he looked at his red-haired friend.

"Excellent thinking, Roxy…" Axel said, returning the evil grin.

He fake sniffed, pretending to wipe tears from his eyes.

"I'm so proud of you, Roxy…" Axel said, enveloping Roxas in a hug.

"Yeah… thanks, axel… um…one thing though…" Roxas said, suffocating under Axel's hug.

"What Roxy?" Axel asked.

"LET ME GO!!! I cant… breathe!!!" Roxas said.

"Oh yeah, breathing. Right. Sorry," Axel said, letting him go and scratching the back of his head in embarrassment.

Axel turned to Demyx with a straight face. Demyx was sitting perfectly still in the position that Axel had left him, and was turning a dark shade of purple.

"Dude! Demyx, you stupid… BREATHE, DAMMIT!" Axel said, covering his face in embarrassment at how stupid Demyx was being.

Demyx let out a huge breath, and took in oxygen again. He returned to his normal color.

"Thanks… a lot… Axel…" Demyx panted.

"Ok, Demyx, here's what we get you to do," Axel began.

Axel and Roxas began explaining the plan in his ear.

Demyx's eyes widened in shock.

"You want me to WHAT!?" Demyx shrieked.

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Yup yups! I figure that this was a good place to stop. Now all I need are REVIEWS!!!! Press the purple button and review for me and I will toss cupfuls of confetti on you!!! Next chapter, the plan will be put into action, I promise!!! Don't hurt me!!!

-closet door breaks down-

Erinicole12: uh-oh. I'm in trouble. -runs and gets tranquilizer gun-

Demyx: Yay! Zexy-kun, you're so strong! -glomps Zexion-

Zexion: Get off me Demyx. We will… er… talk later. Right now, I need to get revenge on the… ugh… -faints-

Erinicole12: Got him!

Demyx: ZEXION!!! NO!!! -faints-

Erinicole12: XD


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note:** Wow! Two updates in one day! I'm on a roll, whoo!! This chapter was tons of fun to write! Zexion, Demyx, and Saix lovers, please don't kill me!!!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Kingdom Hearts, Kingdom Hearts 2, or Organization XIII. If I did, the world would be very, very afraid. And fanfiction would be a great place to get plot updates. Hehe

**A Day in the Life of a Nobody**

**Chapter III**

"_**You want me to WHAT!?" Demyx shrieked.**_

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"You heard us," Axel smirked at the wide-eyed blonde.

"But…. but…. its…. EW!!!!" Demyx said.

"Do it, or Zexion suffers," Roxas said, crossing his arms.

"Ok. Fine," Demyx hung his head down sadly. "I'm sorry, Zexy…"

"Glad to see you're on board with us!" Axel said cheerfully.

"So, you get Demyx ready, and I'll…" Roxas gulped. "I'll get Saix out of Mansex's room…" Roxas covered his face in shame. He knew exactly how to get him out, but he didn't want to do it. It would involve…. Marluxia and Larxene.

Axel dramatically put his hand on Roxas's shoulder.

"You can do this," Axel said.

"But if you don't, can I have your stuff?" Demyx asked.

Axel smacked Demyx in the back of his head.

"Don't listen to him. You will make it," Axel said, smothering Roxas in another hug. Roxas inhaled Axel's scent. He eternally smelled like burning trees. But for some reason, Roxas was comforted by the smell, almost in love with it.

_Wait. What? Love? I can't feel this way… no. No. I need to focus, or we're all in trouble! _Roxas yelled in his head as Axel let him go.

Roxas saluted Axel playfully. Axel saluted him back.

"Good luck, number 13." Axel said, smiling.

Roxas nodded, as he disappeared into a portal.

When Roxas had left, Axel grabbed Demyx and went to Demyx's room. While Demyx leaned on a wall, Axel went through his closet.

"Ahah!" Axel said, triumphantly holding a blue and white speedo.

"Axel! No! You can't be serious!!! Anything else but that!!!" Demyx cried.

"Yes, this. Now, you know what to do," Axel said, tossing the speedo to Demyx.

Demyx grumbled a string of curses as he put on the skintight speedo.

Meanwhile, with Roxas… 

Roxas appeared in a pale white hallway. On his right was a door with the number

11 on it. That was Marluxia's room. The Graceful Assassin. He was some pink haired weirdo with an obsession with flowers. Roxas smiled at the thought of the last time he was in there.

_**Flashback:**_

"_**Come on, Roxy! It'll be fun!!" Axel insisted, pulling him into the portal he had summoned leading to Marluxia's room.**_

_**Roxas tried pulling away.**_

"_**No, Axel! I don't want to die!!!" Roxas whined.**_

"_**You won't die, Roxy!" Axel said cheerfully, jerking Roxas and holding him by the shoulders. "I'll take all the blame. Don't worry. We're just going to trample a few flowers, and then get out! It'll be easy, now COME ON!" **_

_**Axel pulled Roxas into the dark vortex.**_

_**They appeared inside Marluxia's room. It was pale white, like all the other rooms, but was much bigger, and actually had windows. By those windows were Marluxia's prized flowers. Giant roses, Venus Flytraps, and countless other flowers decorated the pots latched to the windows. Axel summoned his chakrams. He looked at Roxas, who had summoned his two keyblades, Oblivion and Oathkeeper.**_

"_**After you, number 13," Axel smirked.**_

_**Roxas nodded nervously. He raised his keyblades and slashed 3 roses to shreds.**_

_**Axel smiled proudly, and began burning a row of Venus Flytraps. **_

_**In a matter of minutes, the once thriving garden was nothing but shreds and singed buds. **_

"_**Very good on your first try, Roxy!" Axel said proudly. "When I first dragged Demyx in here, he nearly fainted when I singed a leaf." Axel rolled his eyes at the memory.**_

_**Outside, Marluxia was coming down the hall. Roxas and Axel froze at the sound of his approaching footsteps.**_

"_**Oh fuck, here he comes!" Axel said, hastily summoning a sloppy portal. "We don't have much time. You go, I'll meet you back at my room." He said hurriedly, pushing Roxas into the portal.**_

_**But this time, Roxas wouldn't give in. He would stay with his friend. He didn't know what Marluxia did, but he wasn't going to leave his best friend to his wrath. He twisted out of his grip and turned to him.**_

"_**No, I'll stay with you and we'll escape together. Who knows, it could be fun!" Roxas said, slightly nervous.**_

_**Marluxia walked into the room. He took one look at the two nobodies. Then at his damaged garden. Then back at the two nobodies.**_

"_**AXXELLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Marluxia yelled, furious. "YOU'RE GOING TO PAY FOR WRECKING MY GARDEN AGAIN!!!!" Marluxia summoned his weapon, a pink and green scythe, and prepared to attack. **_

"_**Oh man!" Axel said, sliding in front of Roxas. "Roxas, on my move, you run to the door, got it?" he said, turning his head to Roxas.**_

_**Marluxia lunged at the two.**_

"_**Go!" Axel yelled, sprinting to the door, Roxas following close behind. Marluxia spun his scythe in circles, trying to cut the two intruders to pieces. **_

"_**Jump!" Roxas yelled to Axel as the scythe headed their way. Axel grabbed Roxas's wrist and leaped into the air, out the door. When Axel landed outside, he slammed the door on Marluxia, who was nearly going to maim them. **_

_**He put his hands on his knees, panting.**_

"_**Nice…going back there…Roxas…" Axel said.**_

"_**Thanks. Now, we should get going before he comes back out!" Roxas said, summoning a better portal. **_

"_**Good…idea… Roxas…" Axel said, falling on top of the small blonde. Roxas smiled, rolled his eyes, and walked into the portal. By the time Marluxia came out, they were gone.**_

Snapping back into reality, Roxas knocked on the door. No answer. Breathing a sigh of relief, he walked to the door across from it with the number 12 on it. Larxene's room. The Savage Nymph. She was the only girl in the organization, other than Namine. Then again, she didn't really count. She had short blonde hair with two bangs that looked vaguely like antennae, she controlled thunder, and she had very good aim with knives. Roxas knocked nervously. He smiled. No answer. He let himself inside and took 2 of her newly sharpened knives. He turned to her bookcase, and grabbed her favorite book: Marquis De Sade. He took a tiny shred of it and ran outside, closing the door behind him. He rushed back into Marluxia's room and began his work.

He took Larxene's knives and began shredding Marluxia's plants. Once it looked mangled enough, he took the shred of paper and stuck it on a thorn. He left one of her knives half buried in the dirt. He looked around; making sure nobody was around and planted the last piece. Larxene's other knife on Marluxia's desk, half submerged in whatever Marluxia kept on his desk. His ears perked up as he heard footsteps and voices. Larxene was yelling at Luxord for cheating in a game of poker, again. Roxas summoned a portal and appeared in Demyx's room, where Axel and Demyx were waiting.

When he appeared in the room, he saw Axel smiling very smugly on Demyx's bed, and Demyx leaning on a wall and clutching his cloak for dear life.

"I take it he's ready?" Roxas smiled at Axel.

Axel's green eyes flashed with mischief. "Of course. Will Saix be coming out soon?"

"In about 3…2…1," Roxas said.

A deafening shriek echoed throughout the castle. It could only be Larxene. And by the sounds of it, she was mad.

"Where…are…my… knives!?" she shrieked. Axel and Roxas opened the door a tiny bit to watch the show.

Marluxia walked in and ran into her, falling on his butt.

"Ow! What are you yelling about, Larxene!?" Marluxia said, getting up.

"SOMEONE stole my best knives, that's what I'm yelling about!" Larxene yelled.

"Ok, ok, calm down! I'll help you find them. Just quit screaming!" Marluxia replied. "Just let me get… huh!" Marluxia gasped as he opened his door to reveal, yet again, a mangled, torn up garden.

He rushed to his precious flowers and gasped. A shred of paper was among the thorns, along with one of Larxene's knives half buried in the dirt.

"You!" Marluxia scowled; turning to Larxene, scythe in hand. "You tore up my flowers!"

Larxene gasped as well, when she found one of her knives submerged in Marluxia's junk.

"And you stole my knife!" she said, summoning the rest of her knives to her fingertips.

"You're going to pay!" they said at the same time.

"Something sounds like a battle, doesn't it, Roxy?" Axel smirked at Roxas.

"Yes, it does. Someone should get Saix…" Roxas said, turning to Demyx. "That's your cue, Demmy."

Demyx got off the wall and nodded nervously.

Axel took Roxas and hid themselves in the darkness of the room, camera in hand.

Demyx cleared his voice.

"SAIIIIIIXXXX!!!!!!" he yelled. "I need to talk to you!!!"

30 seconds later, Saix appeared, a scowl on his face.

"What do you want, number 9?" he said, crossing his arms.

Demyx put on his best sexy face and wrapped his arms around Saix.

"Number 9, what are you-uh!" Saix's question was cut off when Demyx forced a kiss onto the shocked nobody.

Demyx kept the kiss hooked together long enough to get Saix onto the bed. Kneeling on Saix's waist saddle-style, he stripped himself of his cloak, revealing the skintight speedo. Saix's eyes widened in shock.

Demyx forced a kiss onto Saix again, his fingers fumbling for his cloak zipper. Saix couldn't fight back; his energy was still drained from his "training" with Xemnas.

In the darkness, Axel took pictures like a trained professional. Of course, the flash was off.

"I take it you've done this before?" Roxas whispered.

Axel nodded, still taking pictures.

After 20 minutes of grinding, hair pulling, making out, and moaning, Saix regained some sort of strength and wrenched the nearly naked Demyx off him.

"What is the meaning of this!?" Saix said, outraged.

Demyx quivered where he stood. He was too afraid to speak.

Saix wiped his mouth and put his cloak back on.

"This little endeavor never occurred, understood?" Saix said.

Demyx nodded slowly as Saix disappeared from the room.

Roxas and Axel immediately were on the floor laughing.

"That…was…priceless!!!" Axel said between breaths.

"You got it all, right?" Roxas asked, getting up.

"Yeah!" he said, holding up the camera.

Demyx scrambled to get his cloak back on.

"Ok, I did as you wanted, now where's my Zexy-kun!?" he said, putting his hands on his hips and pouting.

Axel and Roxas's insane laughter subsided as a thump was heard from the room next door.

"Oh yeah, we forgot about Marly and Larxene!" Axel said, laughing even more.

"We'll deal with it later," Roxas said, joining his friend in laughter.

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Yes, I am insane!!! Bwahahahaha!!! XD

Axel: I'll say. That was pretty funny though.

Roxas: Now to sell those pictures on ebay!

Erinicole12: NO!!! -grabs memory stick- My pictures!!! -snarls at Roxas and Axel-

Axel and Roxas: Whoa! -backs off-

Erinicole12: Hehe… -loads pictures onto computer-

Yes, I will update ASAP. PLEASE REVIEW FOR ME!!! Thank you!


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note:** Hmm… now Axel and Roxas need to hold up their end of the deal, prevent Marluxia and Larxene from destroying the castle without getting killed themselves, and watch out for Zexion when they let him go. Yes, I'm sorry, he has to be let go. Oh, I almost forgot. -throws confetti on all reviewers- THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS AND HELP!!!

Zexion: -holding knife over author's head- hehe… -evil grin-

Erinicole12: Don't even think about it when I'm writing, Zexion!

Zexion: -pouts-

Erinicole12: Tch. Organization members.

Zexion: Tch. Crazy fangirls.

Demyx: Tch. Um… can't think of anything to complain about. I just felt left out… -pouts-

Zexion: It's ok, Demmy -kisses Demyx-

Erinicole12: -snaps pictures excessively- Yippee!!!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Kingdom Hearts, Kingdom Hearts 2, or Organization XIII. I wish I did. -pouts-

A Day in the Life of a Nobody Chapter IV 

"Oh yeah, we forgot about Marly and Larxene!" Axel said, laughing even more.

"_**We'll deal with it later," Roxas said, joining his friend in laughter.**_

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Repeated thumps were heard from next door.

"Oh no, what did you do, Roxas?!" Demyx asked, zipping up his cloak.

Roxas's eyes widened in shock.

Shouts and curses were heard from Marluxia's room.

Even Axel was surprised.

"Geez, Rox, you were supposed to cause some trouble that would stop Saix and Mansex's 'training', not cause the end of The World that Never Was." Axel said, scratching the back of his head.

"Whoa. It sounds bad." Demyx said, his ear on the wall.

"_**Take this, you gay-ass flower hippie!"**_

"_**You'll regret that, you lightning bug freak!"**_

"_**Take that back, flower boy!"**_

"_**Bug freak!"**_

"_**Gay Hippie!"**_

Demyx, Axel, and Roxas were glued to the wall, listening to every word.

_Shit!!! What have I done!!! _Roxas shouted in his head.

_Damn. What did Roxas do? _Axel asked, looking at the short blonde in front of him with a raised eyebrow.

_We're all gonna die, we're all gonna die, we're all gonna die!!! _Demyx panicked in his head.

"Demyx, we're gonna need you to do one more thing for us," Roxas said, his eyes serious. "We need to stop Marluxia and Larxene from killing The World that Never Was as we know it."

Axel nodded in agreement.

"Why can't Roxas just come clean?" Demyx asked.

"Oh, Demyx. Demyx, Demyx, Demyx, you naïve nobody." Axel started, putting his arm around Demyx and preparing to put him in a headlock. "Roxas can't come clean because then Marluxia and Larxene would tear him to shreds. And even if Saix and Mansex could stop them, Mansex would send Roxy to oblivion in two seconds flat. And if Roxy gets sent to oblivion, he will not be the only one to suffer, if you catch my drift."

Demyx's eyes widened as Axel's grip grew tighter around his neck.

"Yeah, yeah. I get it," Demyx said, nervously.

_I'd hate to see what Axel would do if he ever lost Roxas. He'd probably kill me! _Demyx thought in his head. Suddenly, the thousands of ways that Axel could kill him ran through his mind as his eyes widened in fear.

"So you're in then?" Axel smirked, as another bang was heard.

Demyx nodded.

Axel and Demyx turned to Roxas, who was still at his spot on the wall.

_My god, they're ready to kill each other! And if we try to break them up, they'll kill US! What do we do?! _As these thoughts raced through his mind, the blonde's eyes slowly widened to the point that the felt like they were going to pop out of his sockets.

"Hey, Rox? You ok? Your eyes are kinda… bugging," Axel asked, laughing a little at the freaked out blonde. He prodded his arm a few times before Roxas finally snapped back into reality.

"Huh? Yea-yeah… I'm ok. I think we should probably break them up before they-whoa!" Roxas was interrupted as a blur of pink hair flew through the wall.

"My room!!!" Demyx shrieked, grabbing his hair in distress.

"Whoa!!!" Axel said in amazement.

_Larxene has a good arm…_ Axel thought, shuddering slightly.

The three wide-eyed nobodies watched in shock as the enraged blonde woman appeared in the hole in the wall. Marluxia had landed on Demyx's bed, breaking it in half. He looked at Larxene in total fear, unable to move. Larxene had her knives between her fingers, electricity pulsing from them. Her hair appeared to be standing on end from the static.

Axel looked at Roxas who was still standing by the hole, dumbfounded.

"Roxas! Let's go!" Axel yelled, grabbing the younger nobody's arm just as Larxene lunged at Marluxia, lightning surrounding her. Axel quickly summoned a portal and shoved his two confused friends in it, then entered it himself.

When they appeared back in Axel's room, they heard loud thumps and curses as well.

"Oh damn! Are they affecting this floor too!?" Demyx cried, hiding under Axel's desk.

"Demyx, calm down. It's probably just Zexion in the closet where I had put him," Axel said casually.

"You put my Zexy-kun in your closet!?" Demyx asked furiously as he jumped up from under the desk. There was literally fire in his eyes.

"Geez, Demyx, calm down! I'll let him out," Axel said, opening the closet door.

A black-gloved hand emerged from the doorway and grabbed Axel by the neck, choking him.

Zexion's face was red and slightly sweaty from his struggling. He had managed to get one hand free, and got the duct tape off his mouth. As for his other arm and his legs, they were slightly torn up, but Zexion had no luck with freeing himself from them.

"You… are going… to pay for this, Axel…" Zexion panted.

Demyx and Roxas looked inside the closet, where a very red and flustered Zexion was choking Axel to a deep shade of purple.

"Whoa, Axel, you weren't supposed to suffocate him," Roxas said sarcastically.

"Zexy-kun! You're ok!" Demyx said happily, throwing his arms in the air.

"Little… help here, Roxas?" Axel struggled, trying to claw off Zexion's grip.

"Fine, fine," Roxas said, grabbing Zexion's arm.

"Zexion, we'll let you go, on two conditions. One, you let go of Axel. Two, you stop Marluxia and Larxene from murdering us all and destroying The World That Never Was. Deal?" Roxas explained, getting Axel out of Zexion's grip.

"Thanks Roxas," Axel coughed, trying to regain color in his face and oxygen in his lungs.

Zexion thought a while. Then he closed his eyes and shrugged. "Fine. But I have a condition as well." Zexion said, his blue eyes flashing with danger.

_Oh no. This can't be good… _Axel thought.

"What?" Roxas eyed him suspiciously.

"When all of this is over, I get to do whatever I want to you two," Zexion said, hiding an evil smirk under what was left of his bangs.

"Deal!" Demyx popped in, cutting Zexion free.

"What!?" Axel and Roxas yelled, shocked.

Zexion stood up straight, rubbing his wrists.

"Ahh… much better. Thank you, Demyx." Zexion said.

"You're welcome, Zexy-kun!" Demyx said cheerfully, throwing his arms around Zexion's neck in a forceful hug.

Zexion tried gently pulling Demyx off, but to no avail. Demyx's arms were locked around his neck.

"Uh… erm… Demyx… you need to get off me…" Zexion said, blushing madly in front of Roxas and Axel, who were stifling their laughs.

"Aww… but I wuvs you, Sexy-Zexy!!!" Demyx said, pouting.

That was it. Axel and Roxas exploded in laughter.

"Sexy-Zexy?! Oh my god, that's hilarious!!!" Axel yelled between breaths.

"I cant…I cant breathe!!!" Roxas said, slowly turning red from laughing.

"Shut up!" Zexion said sternly, glaring at them with ice blue eyes.

Axel and Roxas immediately shut their mouths and put straight faces.

Zexion stopped fussing and held Demyx close, putting his face in his blonde hair.

"Demyx, you need to let go now. We'll talk later, ok?" Zexion whispered in Demyx's ear.

"Do you promise?" Demyx asked, his lower lip quivering in a full-on puppy dog pout.

"I promise." Zexion said, kissing Demyx gently on the mouth.

Axel looked on in envy at the two kissing nobodies. _I wish I could have someone like that… _

_**You already do, genius **_

_I do? _

_**Duh! Roxas. R-O-X-A-S. The one you love. 'Got it memorized'? **_

_What? No way! I can't feel that way about him… I'm a nobody! I can't __**'feel' **__anything!_ He brushed off these thoughts and snapped back into reality.

Demyx and Zexion were already gone.

"Wha? Huh? Roxas, where'd they go?" he asked, confused.

"They went to go deal with Marluxia and Larxene. You kind of… fazed out for a second there. Are you ok?" Roxas asked, his blue eyes looking up at Axel.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Axel said, casually putting his hands behind his head and looking at the ceiling, avoiding Roxas's gaze.

He looked over at Roxas, whose head was hung, his hair actually obeying gravity and leaning forward.

"Hey buddy, what's wrong?" Axel asked, leaning over to Roxas's eye level. He could see sorrow glistening in his blue eyes.

"Nothing, nothing. I'm fine." Roxas sniffed. _I can't let him know what I'm feeling… IF you could call this urge a "feeling"_

"We should go check on Marly and Larxene, huh?" Axel asked, placing a hand on Roxas's shoulder, snapping him back into reality.

Roxas nodded, as Axel summoned a portal to the hallway where the chaos was occurring.

_**When Zexion and Demyx reached Marluxia and Larxene…. **_(A/n: Just so you know, this is while Axel and Roxas are talking and spacing out and stuff)

Zexion and Demyx appeared back in Demyx's room, which was now completely destroyed.

"NO!!!!! My room!!!" Demyx cried, falling to his knees in despair.

Zexion put a comforting hand on Demyx's shoulder.

"It'll be ok. We'll fix this. But first, we need to stop Marluxia and Larxene." Zexion said.

Demyx sniffed and nodded, getting back up.

"But where did they go?" Demyx asked, looking around. He scanned his room and looked through the hole in the wall. They weren't there.

Zexion sniffed for the two nobodies' scents for a few moments. Demyx looked at Zexion, waiting for an answer. After a few moments, Zexion nodded. He walked through the hole in the wall, and motioned for Demyx to follow. Entering the equally ruined room, Zexion noticed the broken window to his left. He walked to the windowsill and looked over the side. He saw Marluxia and Larxene battling it out.

"Demyx, come on." Zexion said, summoning a portal to them.

"Ok!" he said perkily, following Zexion.

Moments later, Axel and Roxas appeared in Marluxia's room.

"Where'd they go?" Axel asked, looking around.

Roxas looked behind him and pointed to the broken window.

Before Axel could say anything, Roxas ran and jumped out the window. Axel didn't even think. He jumped out after him. Marluxia's room was about 6 stories above ground. Axel had to move fast. He spread his arms out straight in front of him, like a diving position. A few seconds later, he wrapped his arms around the flailing nobody, who had apparently forgotten about the concept of gravity. He made a portal below them and fell into it. The portal spit them out on the ground, right in front of The Castle That Never Was. Axel threw Roxas off of him, causing him to land a few feet away.

"Roxas are you crazy!? What were you thinking!? You could have died!" Axel started yelling at Roxas.

Roxas had his back to Axel. He got up slowly. His shoulders were shaking slightly. Axel walked toward him.

"That… was… Absolutely Awesome!!!" Roxas said, spinning around to face Axel, grinning like the Chesire Cat.

Axel was relieved that he was all right, but was still a little mad at him. He slapped Roxas clear across the face. Before Roxas could say anything, Axel wrapped his arms around him in a massive hug.

"Don't you ever, EVER, do that again, ok?" Axel said, holding Roxas even tighter.

Roxas was confused, but hugged his friend anyway, taking in the burnt scent.

"Ok. I promise." Roxas said into his cloak.

Axel released the sandy blonde and turned to where Marluxia and Larxene were battling. He could see Zexion and Demyx across from them.

"I see nothing has changed yet…" Axel said.

"Nope." Roxas shrugged, and watched the show.

Marluxia swung his scythe wildly, blocking Larxene's oncoming barrage of lightning. When she paused, he swung the scythe at her at full force. She ducked, but not soon enough. The scythe sliced off half of one of her bangs. When Larxene saw the portion of hair she had lost fall to the ground, she threw all her knives at Marluxia, getting rid of some of the chunks of his pink mane. She summoned them back to her fingers. She ran some electricity through them, and threw them again. She called a wave of lightning at Marluxia.

Zexion sighed, and walked toward the two feuding nobodies. When he got close enough and saw an opening, he summoned his lexicon. He then took himself, Demyx, Marluxia and Larxene inside the pages.

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Sorry this chapter isn't that funny. And is pretty weird. I'm going through some block right now, but I wanted to get another chapter out before the weekend was over. I'm sorry!!! Anyways, please Read and Review. If needed, I will rewrite this whole thing, change ratings, plot, whatever! Help me!! Thank you.

Zexion: Now's my chance -evil grin, grabs author and puts hand over author's mouth-

Erinicole12: Mmrrph!!!

Zexion: Demyx, the rope!

Demyx: Here you go, Zexy-kun! -hands rope to Zexion, helps tie up author to chair-

Erinicole12: No!!! Let me go!!!

Zexion: I am now taking over the Author's notes. I am holding the author captive. She will still write. But only what **I** say. -evil laughter-

Erinicole12: Oh fuck.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's note:** I'M BEING HELD CAPTIVE BY ZEXION!!! HELP ME!!!

Zexion: -smacks author- quiet you. Write. Now.

Erinicole12: -shocked, fearful tears well in eyes-

Axel: -bursts through door, wielding chakrams- Zexion!

(Battle begins between Zexion and Axel)

Erinicole12: Yay Axel!!! .

While they're busy with that, on to the disclaimer and Chapter 5!!!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Kingdom Hearts, Kingdom Hearts 2, or Organization XIII. I only own the plot of my story.

A Day in the Life of a Nobody 

**Chapter V**

Zexion sighed, and walked toward the two feuding nobodies. When he got close enough and saw an opening, he summoned his lexicon. He then took himself, Demyx, Marluxia and Larxene inside the pages.

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Axel and Roxas watched as the book disappeared in a vortex of darkness.

"Wow…" Roxas breathed in astonishment. "Where did they go?" he looked up at Axel, who appeared impassive.

_He took them into the book… he's up to something… and its not going to be good…_ Axel thought grimly.

He snapped out of his thoughts and looked down at his wide-eyed friend.

"Inside the book. Some alternate universe. I've never been in there before. But knowing Zexion, its bound to be depressing and emo." Axel said.

"Yeah…" Roxas said, zoning out.

"Hey, you wanna head to Twilight Town for some sea-salt ice cream? My treat." Axel said, holding out his hand to Roxas.

"Your treat? What's the catch?" Roxas eyed the redhead suspiciously.

"No catch, I just thought that we should get out of here before Xemnas notices and sticks us with the job of cleaning up this mess." Axel said casually, putting his hands behind his head and looking up at the slightly damaged castle.

Roxas looked up at the castle as well. Marluxia's window was badly broken, and there were scorch marks everywhere, most likely from Larxene's lightning bolts.

"AXXXEELLLLLLL!!!!!!!" a deep, furious voice called.

"Last one to Twilight Town is Marluxia's sex toy!" Roxas panicked, running into the portal he created.

"What? Hey!" Axel yelled, running after the young blonde, laughing.

Inside Zexion's book… 

"Whoa…" Demyx gasped in awe of the place Zexion had taken them. Marluxia, Larxene, Demyx, and Zexion were standing on a wide, round battlefield. Around them was darkness and giant books, floating about them. Demyx reached out to try and grab one of the giant books, but Zexion grabbed his arm.

"Don't touch, Demyx. That one might shave all the hair off your body." Zexion chuckled as Demyx held his hand close to him and turned a pale color.

"So, why did you bring us here, Zexion?" Marluxia asked, his scythe disappearing.

"You better get us out of here now!!!" Larxene yelled, as her knives disappeared as well.

"I will. But first, we have some business to deal with." Zexion said, turning away from Marluxia and Larxene.

"Like what?" Marluxia asked rudely.

"Getting revenge on Axel and Roxas." Zexion said, a smirk crossing the blue haired nobody's face.

"Now you're speaking my language…" Larxene said, an evil grin forming on her lips.

"I thought you would be interested…" Zexion said.

Demyx jumped onto Zexion's back, throwing his arms around his neck and holding on.

"So what's the plan, Zexy?" Demyx asked cheerfully, not minding the sniggers coming from Marluxia and Larxene.

Zexion peeled Demyx off his back. He turned to Marluxia and Larxene as he began to explain his plans.

_**With Xemnas and Saix…**_ (A/N: This is after Saix went out of Demyx's room, while the battling and everything was happening. Just wanted to throw them back in.)

Saix rushed out of Demyx's room, fixing his cloak and ruffled hair. He was so flustered about what had just occurred, that he didn't notice the thumps and curses from Marluxia's room. He rushed down the hall back to Xemnas's room. When he reached the door with the Number 1 on it, he knocked.

A moment later, Xemnas's amber eye appeared when the door opened a slit. At first, it was narrow and menacing. Once it realized who was at the door, it widened then disappeared. A clicking was heard from behind the door and Xemnas opened the door with open arms.

"Come in, Sai- erm, Number 7." Xemnas said, ushering Saix inside.

Once inside, Xemnas locked the door again. Saix looked around the room. It was still the same as when he had left it to deal with Demyx. Xemnas's room was different than all the rest. Everything in the room was dark. Dozens of plans, calculations, and sketches decorated the walls. A large, lavish bed with black sheets and pillows was in the center of this dark room. Saix turned to Xemnas, who had thrown his arms around his neck and already started him in a passionate kiss. Saix fell onto the bed, rubbing his hands on Xemnas's back and pulling on his hair. Xemnas was rubbing his hands on Saix's chest, looking for the zipper for his cloak. Once his fingers found it, Saix's cloak was off, revealing Saix's bare torso. Xemnas stopped kissing Saix and began licking his chest, his fingers reaching for his pants. Saix let out a moan of ecstasy, and began stripping down Xemnas. Soon, both nobodies were completely naked.

Xemnas began going faster and faster. His groin was rubbing against Saix's so hard; it would have been extremely painful if they weren't locked together in a kiss.

Then, the moment was ruined when an explosion was heard outside. Saix and Xemnas paused in mid kiss and instinctively looked to where the explosion came from. They looked at each other, unsure of what to do next. Xemnas immediately got off Saix and put on his clothes back on. Saix did the same thing, unsure of what Xemnas was going to do.

"I'm going to check on that." Xemnas growled.

_And kill whoever was the cause of it!_ he finished in his head.

Saix followed Xemnas out of the room.

Xemnas fast walked down the hall. Marluxia and Larxene's rooms were open, so he looked inside. When he looked inside Marluxia's room, he froze in shock. Besides the scorch marks and torn up flowers, the window was broken, and there was a gaping hole in the wall. Making his way to the hole, he also saw that Demyx's room was also trashed. Whatever had caused Marluxia and Larxene to get so mad could have only been the fault of one person.

""AXXXEELLLLLLL!!!!!!!" Xemnas called. He rushed to the window, and saw a portal disappearing.

In Twilight Town… 

Axel and Roxas were sitting together on the clock tower, slurping their sea-salt ice creams and gazing at the eternal sunset. Axel had his arm wrapped tightly around Roxas's waist.

Roxas squirmed a little, trying to get Axel to loosen his grip.

"Axel, do you have to hang on to me so tightly? A guy still has to breathe, you know." Roxas said.

"Sorry Roxy can't do that. I don't want you to fall." Axel said, holding on tighter.

Roxas stopped struggling and crossed his arms, looking at Axel in an angry pout.

"Don't give me that look." Axel jokingly scolded him. He leaned down to lick up the ice cream that was falling all over Roxas's hand. When he had gotten it all off, he looked at the young blonde again, his lips still in a pout, and his blue eyes shimmering. Axel couldn't resist him. He was just too damn cute. He leaned into Roxas, giving his lips a soft kiss. He held it for a few seconds then released. Roxas opened his eyes in shock, dropping his ice cream. He loved the way Axel's lips felt against his. When he felt him separating, he didn't want him to. He couldn't control himself. He grabbed Axel's collar and pressed their lips together forcefully, holding on tightly as if his life depended on it. Axel was slightly surprised by the younger nobody's force, but found that he enjoyed Roxas's new found confidence and further deepened the kiss. He pressed his tongue against Roxas's closed lips, asking to come in. Roxas opened his mouth slightly and was shocked at what Axel was doing, but followed what Axel was doing, their tongues dancing together. They separated, panting slightly. Roxas gazed into Axel's eyes, but immediately averted his gaze, slightly confused at what had just happened. Axel stood up, stretching casually as if nothing had happened.

"Do you think its safe to go back?" Axel asked.

"I hope so." Roxas said, standing up, wobbling a bit.

Axel grabbed Roxas's hand and held him steady. He summoned a portal and walked through, still holding him.

Back in the book….

"So everyone gets the plan?" Zexion asked, as everyone turned to look at Demyx.

"Don't look at me like that! I know what to do…" Demyx said, scratching his head confusedly. "Uh, remind me what I'm supposed to do again?"

Larxene smacked her own head in frustration. Marluxia rolled his eyes. Zexion grabbed Demyx's shoulders, making him look him in the eyes.

"Just make sure that Roxas is in the main room when the time comes, ok? And make sure that neither of them know about the plan, ok?" Zexion said slowly, to make sure he understood him.

"Got it!" Demyx nodded enthusiastically.

Zexion, Larxene, and Marluxia let out a sigh of relief.

"Good. Now get us out of here Zexion!" Larxene yelled.

Zexion's eyes went black and began to float in the air, a dark aura surrounding him.

"_Close your eyes…_" he said, in a voice that was not his own.

Marluxia, Larxene, and Demyx were engulfed in darkness. Moments later, they were back on the grounds where Marluxia and Larxene were just battling.

"Let's get going." Zexion said, walking into a portal.

"Wait for meee Zexy-kun!!!" Demyx called out, following him.

Larxene chuckled, Marluxia giving her an are-you-ok look.

"It's just funny, the way Demyx calls him Zexy-kun. Its almost cute." She said, crossing her arms. Marluxia shrugged and walked into his own portal. Larxene followed suit.

Back to Xemnas….

Xemnas was enraged that Axel had not appeared. He walked back into the hallway, where he saw Vexen and Lexaeus talking together.

"You two! Numbers 4 and 5! Clean up this mess!" he said, walking in between them and storming off, fuming.

Vexen and Lexaeus looked at each other, wondering what Axel had done this time to get him so pissed. But, orders were orders. They walked into Marluxia's room and began repairing the damages. It didn't take long; all they had to do was control the darkness and the repairs were made. Vexen fixed Marluxia's room and garden, and Lexaeus repaired Demyx's room. 10 minutes later, they were done, and on their way back to Vexen's lab.

"Are we the only sane people in the Organization?" Vexen asked, a depressing tone in his voice.

"Probably." Lexaeus shrugged.

Axel and Roxas appeared in Axel's room again. Axel threw himself onto his bed, relaxing in the blood red sheets he had picked out. Roxas felt a little awkward about what had happened on the clock tower. He couldn't describe how he felt while he was doing it. He was too afraid to talk to Axel about it, and he hoped Axel wouldn't sense his wariness.

"I'm gonna go." Roxas mumbled, summoning a portal next to his bed.

Axel got up and grabbed Roxas by the shoulders and made him look at him. He could see the confusion and uncertainty in his blue eyes.

"Hey, about what happened on the clock tower… are you ok about it? Cause if you… you know, don't want to talk to me anymore, its ok…" Axel said, shifting uncomfortably.

"No, no. I'd never want that. I just need some time to think things over, sort things out… ok?" Roxas said, freeing himself from Axel's grip and walking into the portal.

Axel hung his head down, letting his locks drape his face.

"Ok…" Axel mumbled.

Roxas appeared back in his room, completely unprepared of what was to come.

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I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry if this isn't as funny as expected and if my attempt of yaoi is bad, I'm sorry!!! I'm going through a terrible block and I'm losing my mind, and the two crazy nobodies battling and the fact that I'm tied to a chair isn't helping me concentrate either! PLEASE REVIEW ANYWAY!!!! Thank you.

Axel: BURN BABY, BURN!!! -throws chakrams at Zexion-

Zexion: Hmph. -dodges chakrams easily-

Axel: -chakrams come back to Axel, singes Zexion's cloak- Hehe

Demyx: NO! ZEXY-KUN!!! -tackles him into portal- THIS ISNT OVER!!! I WILL AVENGE YOU, ZEXY-KUN!!!

Axel: -comes over and unties author- You ok?

Erinicole12: Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks so much.

Axel: Hey, as long as the author's happy, bad things don't happen to me in the story right?

Erinicole12: Right… hehe -sweatdrop-


End file.
